Hearing about a lot of people's troubles recently has broken my confidence.
Why can't we all share the joy of simply being alive?
And I don't mean just this site.
It hurts me every time to hear that someone is feeling down or hasn't been happy the last few days. It's like I have an unfair advantage in life by being happy. It's just won't do to be happy, while someone else is sad.
How can I convince people that life isn't bad?

Sorry if I sound stupid or strange or whatever. I am not trying to be funny or sarcastic or to offend anyone.
This is the only place where I can talk about this, and expect not to get an inadequate reaction.

Gregol said:
Hearing about a lot of people's troubles recently has broken my confidence.
Why can't we all share the joy of simply being alive?

It hurts me every time to hear that someone is feeling down or hasn't been happy the last few days. It's like I have an unfair advantage in life by being happy. It's just won't do to be happy, while someone else is sad. How can I convince people that life isn't bad?

I am enjoying life, it's just different each day. Sometimes life feels so good you can't even imagine feeling bad and sometimes it flips you on the head in the other direction. The real problem is dealing with those moments. I already accept life as precious. What exactly do you want to gain with this thread? An explanation answer? Or a platform for people to throw their sorrows? Because the latter can be rather depressing. Also I don't think a forum style approach is really appropriate for it, it seems more logical to 1v1 chat for that. Touchy subjects require attention.

*I'm going to start literally adding my intentions to posts as I'm getting the idea I am confusing the #### out of people most of the time.*
*I'm trying to understand what to talk about here at this point in time*

Mnessie said:
What exactly do you want to gain with this thread?

I don't know, some advice on how to deal with that sort of stuff maybe.
Personal experiences of how you guys deal with it.
Like you mnessie. Ever had such a feeling of being happy when others aren't?

Gregol said:
Personal experiences of how you guys deal with it.

Like you mnessie. Ever had such a feeling of being happy when others aren't?

1: Changes every day , there are no perfect answers. And it's different for everyone anyway. Just don't forget to be able to look in places where you don't normally look, otherwise you may miss some important things.

2: Being happy ....when others are not happy.....hmm I find myself enjoying the happines of others , but that question..... It's an interesting one.

I really don't know yet... I'll think about it properly.

The current Dalai Lama states that there are three requirements for happiness:
- basic needs provided (shelter, food)
- peace of mind
- world peace

The third point is a bit confusing, because it'd lead you to believe that we just can't be happy in this world of ours, at least, not "truly, completely" happy. It reflects clearly on the concern that Gregol has; "How can I be happy while there are others around me who are not?"

Religions from different parts of the world all deal with providing guidelines on how to best live our lives if we want it to be fulfilling, peaceful, and filled with happiness. Personally speaking, I've felt most closely aligned to Buddhism from the religions I know of, but even then their view of life can be a bit crude.

Buddhism mostly states that "life is suffering".

Now, with all that said, I will note that I don't believe in a life that is nothing but suffering. However, life is transient, temporary. And so are all of our joys and pains. Everything will come to pass, nothing is eternal.

My views on how to cope with life's apparently cruel nature

So, I do my part when I can. I try to help people, even if it's just listening to them when I can't do no more. And at the end of the day, I am content that I did what I could. It doesn't matter if it's enough or not, it's meaningless to worry about what is beyond your control. Just know that you are doing your part, and hopefully, if everybody does their part, the day will come when we won't have to discuss these things.

(disclaimer)

I dont really have trouble in my life, although my life isn't even perfect either...

My life is just above average for the average human being, but I try to be happy all the time, nothing really bad happens in my life, last time I actually cried about something in my life (excluding the crying because of anime and such) was when my grandmother died 3 months ago, back then I was really depressed for just 1 day, and the next day I thought to myself ''Hey Yakkie, what is this? This isn't you, you're always cheery and happy, and now you're depressed because your beloved grandmother died? I as your conscience understand that, but never forget that this is the way we live our life, people come and people go :') ''

I just always try to be happy and, besides the time my grandmother died, I have never actually cried about anything (excluding crying from anime once again), my life is not perfect, and all of my friends' lives aren't perfect either, but when I see my friends being sad, I do absolutely ANYTHING to make them feel all right again, because that's just how I am, I life to make others happy, the meaning of life for me is ''be good for other's and good things will come to you'', only thing is, I don't expect good things to happen to me when I do good things for others, I am already the happiest man in the world if I can even bring a smile on some hobo's face on the streets :')

Even if I don't know this hobo, it touches my heart to see some people in such a bad state, and when I make them feel good about themselves, I cry of joy from the inside...

So point here is, don't have a single problem in my life, because I try to ignore all my problems, EVERYONE has problems, I know I have problems too, but in a metaphorical way, I also don't, because I always try to be happy, and I always try to make other's feel happy too...

The world is a sad place with inhumanity, depression and evil lurking everywhere, this can never be changed because it is our human nature, BUT, if you want all that negativity gone from YOUR life and also gone from the lives of the people you care about, then you should try to change the world, starting with yourself...

Thanks! That was a brilliiant answer!
Although "stop worrying" was not the solution I hoped for...

SK7000 said:
PS: Sorry if I went a bit overboard, this is one of those topics that has always fascinated me and I have read a lot of material about. There's a lot more to my beliefs and understandings of the universe than explained here, so maybe there are some statements I made which weren't properly explained before :/

Stop apoligizing xD I love reading this.

also, I may be a 100% atheist but I'm not too stupid to ignore the way people experience the world ^_^

@Gregol:
Why worry?

If you have a problem you can fix, why worry? You should just fix it.
If you have a problem you cannot fix, why worry? That will not fix it. Either wait for it to go away, or adapt to the new situation. "Worry" by itself provides no benefit.

The wrong solution would be to become selfish and be told "stop caring." The right solution, IMHO, is to care for others, and be happy you are doing your part.

PS: I am madly curious on reading what will be Emmy's reaction to this thread.

SK7000 said:
PS: I am madly curious on reading what will be Emmy's reaction to this thread.

+1

I agree with your views on this as well. Not caring will fail hard as will clinging to the same state.

Being happy that I care at all, you say, huh??(sorry I took so long, I had a bath)

Not bad at all. That's a great relief, thanks.
BTW, Yakkety, I completely agree with you on your last paragraph, but sometimes, when people simply refuse to be happy, I can't help but feel so powerless...
What does it take to make a friend happy?

I don't strive for happiness in life. I'm perfectly fine with contentment instead. I realize I won't ever find "true happiness" in life due to various and conflicting reasons (morality, social norms/expectations, laws of nature, etc.) Note that contentment does not essential equate happiness, nor vice versa. Though I'm sure many people will conclude that on first thought.

Happiness is pretty vague and subjective as hell, IMHO. I can be happy for short durations of times. I don't think I could ever be "happy" for extended periods of times. It's an emphemeral feeling that kinda comes on the spur of the moment from external stimuli. Contentment I think is a bit more long term since I consider many factors in my life (as the situation calls for) to determine if I'm content/satisfied with my life (or any particular situation I'm asked of.)

Some people can find contentment in their self-misery (from my perspective, I think they think it gives them some amount of quantifiable worth of self-being. The human mind is strange indeed.) Perhaps not very healthy for them on several levels, but there are people like that, no?

Now this is considering just themental and emotional aspect of the topic. If you start talking about it from the scientific and physical side of things, it can open up a whole other set of worms to deal with. "Happiness" could be defined as release of hormones that cause elation in a person. By extension, any stimuli that causes this release of hormones can make a person "happy". This could be anything from a difficult game of chess to skydiving. Granted, some cases are more defined as a "thrill", but you get the idea.

"Happiness" is, IMHO, is a concept humans have developed into a much more abstract idea than nature itself works with. (Any other living thing incapable of abstract thought doesn't have to deal with this crap. They just live life.) In human society, "happiness" is wholly defined by the individual, much like the meaning of life (which is a WHOLE OTHER discussion right there.)

Lastly:

Gregol, you really need to learn how to better title your threads to reflect the actual topic you want to discuss. I'm not happy with your track record so far.

Contentement will do fine, thanks.
As for the titles, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan of symbolism and abstract things.

It's just difficult to fully enjoy life when you're having money troubles (which invariably cause family troubles). I mean, you gotta pay the bills and buy groceries. It's hard when you've got more money going out than you've got coming in. Then of course there's no money for leisure activities either. It just gets rough.

Again, I feel bad, because I've always had it easier than about 90% of the people I know(and I know MANY people).
But think of it this way:
All hardships are only temporary. There will always be someone who's worse off.
I'm not trying to belittle you, but sometimes your own attitude towards the situation is most important. I am aware that I'm talking down from a hill to a person in the flood.

I'm one of simple pleasures. I don't try to find "true happiness" or even figure out what it really means. Like Stahn i prefer to simply be content. Fun, food, rest, friends and other little things are all i ever ask for. Then again those things actually do make me happy hmmm... well anyway i'm easy to please.

Sorry for the late response Gregol, i was taking an exam.

We all strives for happiness one way or another since no humans wants to be unhappy. Some are easy to obtain others not. Happiness is very personal to oneself, small to big. Some happiness you will not notice until you actually lose something and some you will never be aware of it. Some last for a short period of time others for very long time.

In the end it all depends on you. How do YOU define happiness as?

I understand you completely. I have exams of my own lately. Intended to study, but meh. Guess that didn't happen.
I was expecting you. It was always only a question of time.

Again, I don't have life-troubles of my own, but my pals do. You know, exam season=stress season.

Well said stahn. The first thoughts I have heard about happines as a temporal being here which hits you and leaves you in equally fast manners. Something that is often overlooked when compared to the long term state of mind which is a different game entirely. I catch myself making that mistake ever so often, it's an obstacle to surmount from my perspective.

Indeed an insect ( an example of your input==output model) does not have happines as far as any of us can find it. It's neural network is not capable of anything more than processing input and linking it to several outputs which makes it a switchboard. However.....it can also be said we are simply a more advanced switchboard (several levels higher), and our ideas of happines and identity are utter nonsense. (Cutting it extremely short here). What would that mean for us if we were to accept such views? How should it affect our "lives".

The meaning of life? Well I found my definition of the meaning of life. The meaning of life is life itself. There is no plan no goal no option alternative or grand scheme no greater meaning, there is NOTHING. Life is just life, things that do things, with no purpose whatsoever. Also I could go on about that for a long time but I just wanted to give you my conclusion on it.

Gregol said:
Being happy that I care at all, you say, huh??(sorry I took so long, I had a bath)

Not bad at all. That's a great relief, thanks.
BTW, Yakkety, I completely agree with you on your last paragraph, but sometimes, when people simply refuse to be happy, I can't help but feel so powerless...
What does it take to make a friend happy?

When you want to make a friend happy, you first gotta know what the problem is that makes them unhappy, when you know the problem, you can further yourself deep into the problem BUT also watch out that you don't pick up a very sensitive spot for your friend, otherwise you might make him/her even more unhappy, although sometimes this is a good thing because if the person is even more unhappy, the moment you make them happy, the happiness will have a greater effect on them, both physically and mentally, and they will love/like you for helping them...

No one, literally NO ONE refuses happiness, it just might turn out that way by the way the person acts or talks to you, but deep inside they will never refuse the slightest bit of happiness, just try and try and bring a smile on their face by any means necessary, never give up, if you really love the person, you gotta go all in for their happiness, even making a little joke or buying them a small gift, or bringing them flowers will bring a smile on their face, no matter the person, it is a human trait to feel positiveness when receiving things from the people that care about them...

Yakkety said:
No one, literally NO ONE refuses happiness, it just might turn out that way by the way the person acts or talks to you, but deep inside they will never refuse the slightest bit of happiness, just try and try and bring a smile on their face by any means necessary, never give up, if you really love the person, you gotta go all in for their happiness, even making a little joke or buying them a small gift, or bringing them flowers will bring a smile on their face, no matter the person, it is a human trait to feel positiveness when receiving things from the people that care about them...

I had similar thoughts. And I feel bad for coming down on your beautiful words here, I even found some of my own in here. I just wanted to add that it is important to think about yourself as well. You can end up giving away to much of yourself to help one person and hurt other people around you that care for you as they will see you unhappy. It's a worst case scenario though , just .....don't forget yourself ok ^_^

What are ya'll's thoughts are chemically induced "happiness"?

Don't worry mnessie.
I have confidence in myself at that level. I'm not easy to bring down.

@emmy
You mean like drugs?
Bad thing. Don't see it working well long term.

People say that I'm too pesimistic, but I think that's a good thing.
Because if you continually expect the least from life, people will always surprise you. (^_^)

otaku_emmy said:
What are ya'll's thoughts are chemically induced "happiness"?

It's no fun when I can only say " Yep " or "I agree " , "Indeed" or "You're Right!" :P. As far as I'm concerned we're all useless machines. It's a good thing I love machines.

Agos said:
People say that I'm too pesimistic, but I think that's a good thing.
Because if you continually expect the least from life, people will always surprise you. (^_^)

Pessimistic is black
Realistic is gray
Optimistic is white

All three annoy me to no end. I'm just me, the rest is too damm hard to understand. And I prefer blue anyway.

Gregol said:
I'm not easy to bring down.

Don't tempt me >_>

Happiness huh... I don't think it's something that lasts a long time. I think of it more as a moment of happiness and when that moment is over then another emotion takes over. I also think that there cannot be happiness without sadness. Like in competitions, there is always a loser when there is a winner and there aren't many people who can be happy with a lose.

Life is full of ups and downs and we get through the downs to reach the ups and it's always easier to go down than it is to go up. That just the way it works.( well how i think it works anyway.)

Nice metaphorical analogy Tiki.
Foliff said some good things too.
To me, happiness is more of a choice than a state of being.
Most of the time I can convince(or force) myself to be happy(even if for different reasons than initially intended)
And about what foliff said, personally I don't need to know "what happiness I have", it fully suffices to know that I AM happy at all.
But then again, most people whom I know are fundamentally different, and would not understand my approach, never mention trying it.

Yakkety said:
...
No one, literally NO ONE refuses happiness, (longest run-on sentence ever)it just might turn out that way by the way the person acts or talks to you, but deep inside they will never refuse the slightest bit of happiness, just try and try and bring a smile on their face by any means necessary, never give up, if you really love the person, you gotta go all in for their happiness, even making a little joke or buying them a small gift, or bringing them flowers will bring a smile on their face, no matter the person, it is a human trait to feel positiveness when receiving things from the people that care about them...

Actually, there are people who refuse happiness. These are people whose psyche is so damaged that they have learned to hate themselves. They refuse to be helped, thinking they are just a burden on everybody else. Sure, they will LOVE being helped and cheered up, but you have to first work really hard on breaking down that shell of self-inflicting-pain they built around them.

Fortunately, the vast majority of people aren't that broken.

otaku_emmy said:
What are ya'll's thoughts are chemically induced "happiness"?

Some people are depressed because of chemical imbalances, and medicine fixes that.Some people have depression due to chemical unbalances. No amount of "positive thought" can keep them cheerful, because it's the chemicals the ones who are triggering the depressive mood. You can take drugs to combat this, and they have been a god-sent for these people, they can finally experience "a normal life." Perhaps not chemically induced happiness, but it's something worth thinking about in this context.

As for other chemicals, it depends, some can be rather risky. Alcohol is not a good bet to improve things.There's alcohol which can help some people come out of their shell and dare be less shy for a while. Though the effects can be unpredictable at first, everyone reacts differently to it. And then there's the risk of becoming an alcoholic, there comes a point where your brain functions degrade enough that you become a puddle of mushy thoughts, even if you are smiling like a fool, I doubt that can be called "being happy."

Then there are recreational drugs, which can be interesting in order to experience life from a different point of view. Marijuana could be handy for this.

Then there's LSD, but that one is handy for a whole different thing, and I would not recommend it at all to depressed people who can't be happy on their own before-hand.

My view, full version

My point is: "Don't even do it at all, but if you have to, be extremely careful when tweaking yourself, you have no idea what you are doing and the experts aren't even close, take small steps, involve others and document progress to be sure there is any at all".

CONSIDER ALTERNATIVES!
I have been able to find happines in simply relaxing myself to the point of almost sleeping and in writing and organizing my thoughts. Alternatives like that are far less intrusive! Please consider finding such before going on a spending spree at the pharmacy or liquor store!

LOL, I'm sure you won't see any chemical intake from me.
Yeah, it was always my opinion that the only thing that can fix your body is your own body itself. As far as I'm aware there does not exist an artificial method of replacing damaged tissue(except for plastic skin). Stimulating growth, yes, maybe, but not actually inserting ready materials that fix the problem.
correct me if I'm wrong.

Gregol said:
LOL, I'm sure you won't see any chemical intake from me.
Yeah, it was always my opinion that the only thing that can fix your body is your own body itself. As far as I'm aware there does not exist an artificial method of replacing damaged tissue(except for plastic skin). Stimulating growth, yes, maybe, but not actually inserting ready materials that fix the problem.
correct me if I'm wrong.

I can see a boost in medical science occuring in the nanotech era. But even then there is so much to learn.